When You Don't Know

Every so often life shoots you into a corner and you wonder how the fuck did I end up here. A psych major will tell you it’s your subconscious propelling you. But you wonder hey I do know or at least have an idea of the general direction I wanna be heading in and this is not it.
Lets see if these sentences ring a bell:
What did I do wrong?
I did everything I could?
What did I not do?
How could this happen?
I had it all planned, then?
Your every thought is aimed at probing your mind for a probable explanation. Each day one wakes up thinking I wanna know.
Eventually you don’t get the answer but you move on, but does one ever fully forget cause I think or rather I have noticed myself reminiscing at times and again asking Why, What and How?

Wounded

We use superb medical concoctions on our physical bruises and general ailments. The question is what do we do about the invisible ache that rakes our being form the very core “our heart”. Well we all have our little quick fixes in place : Watching TV, Getting drunk, Going on an eating binge, Shopping, Studying(for some very rare cases). But do these really work? They do replace the pain temporarily but can they make us whole again?? Or can we ever be whole again???
There are millions of ways out there to get over a bad break up ranging from getting under someone new to blowing out the brains of the asshole who hurt you. How do you know what will free you of your demons when all you can think about at that point is (a) Attaining closure and moving on. (b) Wooing them back(only crazy people do this).
We might not like it but it is true that the dirt that we shove under the carpet in our hurry to get going returns to haunt us. No matter how many locks we put on that closet the skeletons do come out eventually and more often than not at the most inopportune times.
We have another option of letting the cat out of the bag and let time do what it does best!!!!

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

It’s about time that we start moving out of the same age old routine of cribbing over what if?????
Ya we all dream about all the possible what if's of our life, dwell on them even for hours. Just stop and think for what possible good.
Do we get to do it all over again, NO; because that’s life it goes on without waiting for you to catch up.
We can endlessly complain about it not being fair, about being at the receiving end, about how our misery is the greatest, during all this we lose perspective of how miserable life can actually be. We again come back to the same thought about not valuing what we have now.
We drool over the possibilities and in effect miss out on the opportunities.

Love Becomes Unwanted

We often say that we wanna hear our better half profess their love in a grand manner. We want to hear them say i love you more than anything else in this world. We wanna hear that its us they think of 24/7. We want to hear that we are the most important thing, person in their life, we are their number 1 priority. And a select lucky few may end up with someone who does all that. But when we get it, it often happens we don't want it anymore, suddenly we start using words like space, independence, individual self, time apart. We say that "i am not accountable to you for what i do every minute, get a life of your own". The same love we were running after now becomes unwanted, it becomes a burden. The calling becomes invasive, the i love you's become clingy and often go unanswered. We do this but do we wait and for once think about the other person, whom we expect to understand and adjust to our new reality. That person who has made us a way of their life, who has spent all this time trying to do what we have wanted. Who has given their heart, body and soul to us, so much so that they are co-dependent on the relation they think will last forever. We notice all this and what are great fucked up mind thinks is "this person is breathing my air", we feel suffocated. We forget we are the ones who expected them to behave in certain manner, its us who changes not them they still love us the same way, but we are ready to move on. Why cant we value what we have, why do we have to loose it to understand its worth, but some of us geniuses don't understand even then. well we rough tough types move on to a same or a different story. This is about us but what about the other type, what do they do, how do they cope up, we might say to them lets become friends or this is not right or its not meant to be you deserve someone better, we don't think about it do we? Well we better do cause someday in life it will be us who's love becomes unwanted, for that is when we have fallen in that one true love of our life.

A hopeless romantic. Am I???

A latest movie dialogue says: "Forever - hamesha purane zamane vala"
Is this what we are coming to, when we prove the person concerned that forever can mean only a second straight out of a star treck episode.
Do we go into relations thinking of them as time pass or short term?
Does love at first sight and not sex is only talk of dreams?
Can a mills and boons come true, where a knight in shining armour sweeps you off your feet and professes he will love you for all eternity?
A happily ever after of fairy tale. Could it happen?
Rather the question is are we willing to let it happen.